Categories: Relationships

Building blocks of Life

Now, I know what you are thinking. Is this article going to teach us more about LOVE relationships or so?

Naaa, you are wrong, this would strictly be about relationships in general.

We usually tend to forget that we are not ‘only‘ in love with our better half but we also share a relationship with the people around, they could be our neighbours, they could be our school mates, even a breezy share of smile to a passer-by can be a CASUAL RELATIONSHIP. As people, we are only confined to the knowledge of known relationships that we share daily; namely between friends, family and love and how we deal with them as our life passes.

After reading this you would have a perspective of how a relationship can be build well, if build; maintained well and even if maintained; spiced up well enough.

You also need not to worry, this article wont be a waste of just unknown/new relationship titles and their information but it would surely teach you a new way to re-think of its elements.

In the past, relationships were more about being together, growing mentally with the person you are with. This was even possible than because you did not have a lot of distractions. Their major focus was on making sure the person they are with is there with them cause they liked the companionship. They liked the way the atmosphere is positively fabricated with your presence. They preferred being with you in a house not just made with bricks and walls but for their problems as well; as they just found them just worth suffering for

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for
-Bob Marley

I am sure you do not deny this.

Today, in contraction; things have changed (as maybe people and situations have). Today we have enough options (distractions) to let something beautiful get away. We grow but only physically, mental growth is a far fetched truth for us. Don’t take me wrong, as I do not mean the growth of the brain, I mean the power to realise when you should actually act. Our major focus today is more of being with the person because either you HAVE-TO or you have some debts to be cleared (Monetary or non-monetary).

We should realise that people have just become robots when it comes to a nuclear life of family or friends. We have forgotten our mere purpose of existence. We require advisors now, we require people telling us what is good and what is bad without making an effort to check with yourself first. We already give up on ourselves to solve our relationship problems and expect that the other one to fill those gaps.

Whew! too much? Lets get right to the solution than:

Early for-seeing:

Relationships are not made on the factor of luck or destiny; that is life. Don’t confuse it. What we do is, we only like to get to the bottom of something when we fell we are at risk and its going to hamper us.

Prepare before-hand, it shan’t be hard, we do it with our lives and future planning…than why not with this?

I know some of us do not believe in signs, we do not know or pretend not to know something is wrong unless we actually face it. In times like these we need to stop acting and start observing. Observe signs. If your parents aren’t happy with you about something, ASK them ‘what‘ rather than leaving it open in the air. You are a part of their genes, you are a part of their existence. If you don’t know the cause, I am sure they will portray it well for you.

If you feel your partner is not keen on what you are doing professionally or personally and is being a deaf ear to when you talk about it ask, you wont be doing the biggest blunder of your life. In fact you are saving a relationship, if not you are atleast digging up a cavity for something good.

Your friends at times don’t take your advices or opinions seriously and you feel ignoring it will help them realise, but it wont. You would need to present your interest of knowing ‘what is wrong’ is when they can open upto you. It does not mean they are not your real friends. It just shows their response matters to you. Which will lead to a deeper friendship.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
– Anais Nin

Communicate Viably:

As adults or even teenagers, I do not assume that whatever knowledge you have about communication is more than sufficient and efficient for us to survive the day.

Do you think you will ACTUALLY be happy if you just survive the day?

Our communication skills have gone so bad over the years that we really need a third person to help us; to talk us out of a situation or to talk us in to solve it. This will not work for a longer time, your communication angel is not going to be with you forever You have to be your own guardian angel to solve it.

So what is asking someone else exactly mean?

–> You are just trying to get a second opinion for the thought you have. Instead get into the habit of having your own opinions. Find ways out to listen to your heart and you will slowly gain the confidence to the right answers inside you. Merely be surprised to know how good you are in communicating with yourself and subsequently with your relationship.

Families and Friends require communicating as well, after all they are humans. We let things pass as we feel that it will yield good later but its a layer like a sedimentary rock that keeps forming one over the other. Its ultimately going to get bigger and most dangerously its made of melted volcano, so you know the repercussions.

Piling up things has never helped anyone, clear it out that very moment and you will feel your shoulders getting light.

So, from today promise yourself and atleast once truly talk to yourself, the questions and the subsequent answers to them are inside you and nowhere else. We just shy away to admit to them but you know what? they are the true answers to your problems.

The Real Topic:

Maximum relationships heat up while communicating as we drift from our original discussion. We do not see the angle that we get into.

28% of relationships due to vacuous reasons but 72% of relationships fail due to heated arguments.

This clears my earlier point. Never keep things pilled up, I know there are times when you cant actually go with the flow and you have to adhere to the discipline of the surrounding that you are in; but you can always try to end it cheerfully whenever you have the time and place.

Be focused on the current situation, do not talk about its past and the thing that initiated it on the first place. It has already happened, now you actually cant do much about it. You just have to find ways out to deal with it.

Approach:

You must be wondering, how is this different from communicating. Well it is, it is a lot different than just communicating. Approaching can mean sitting besides the person you love and talk nothing. It indulges you into a silent conversation, a feeling of belongingness, a spark that creates a space to open up to each other.

Sorries are not just words, they can even be actions

It can mean just helping your mom with cooking or daily household work and gradually getting into the problem. It can also mean helping your sibling with their homework as a kind gesture and asking them how their day was or even your dad with some required work, so that he knows he is not alone in it.

You aspire the least when it comes to your friends. Do substancial things to make them happy, nothing big or small.

You can buy the MOD (Mad over Donuts) and don’t just get it delivered to their place, do it personally and see the look on their faces and their satisfaction of being your friend (For obvious reasons of wanting more) Lol! but a small APPROACH can really teach you a lot and make you a person you are afraid to become.

We take relationships very lightly, we think we are able to deal with them as we are grown ups and tag along with the phrase ‘Let nature takes its own course‘ and it might even yield but why wait? Why give a chance to PROBABILITY to make its way in?

You are the one who is gonna be happy if you have a loving family, you are the one who will be contended if you have a loving companion and you will find yourself the luckiest when you have a friend who is only greedy for your attention and nothing else.

No relationship is NOT WORTH SAVING. You were a part of it for a reason on the first place so you know why you got into it. Just realign the roots and there; you have it straightened.

You are basically your own BUILDING BLOCK OF LIFE, arrange them one by one, don’t rush. Things take time, they get messy, the blocks might even fall apart but all you have to think of it as a LEGO game. Arrange them brick by brick with a little dedication, a pinch of right attitude and an idea of a beautiful end-design and you will realise….like the great Bob Marley mentions:

You will find the ones worth suffering for 🙂

Life Scenarios:

  1. If you have a family with more than 5 people who are completely disarranged with each other’s likes and dislikes, take them out and plan games or activities that include everyone’s participation and likes.
  2. With your life companion, if you believe you are a not coping up well with their needs, find a middle-way by talking to each other and fixing yourselves mentally first and subsequently to a mutual decision, rather than divorcing or breaking up.
  3. Rather than making new friends where you feel you would be emotionally accustomed, invest in the existing one’s. Impart the same wisdom to them and keep doing so vice versa.

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Elysian

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Elysian

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